Deodorant Rant: Romancing The (Deodorant) Stone no comments
Posted at 10:46 am in Uncategorized
This stone, like cockroaches, will survive a nuclear holocaust
Why The Stony Look?
Having read something about how the aluminum in most deodorants could be linked to breast cancer, I found myself at the local hi-health in search of underarm odor ousting alternatives. Lo and behold, I found these crystalline cubes that claimed to quash underarm odor without aluminum. The one I tried is called a “Thai Crystal Deodorant Stone”, and the company that distributes them is Deodorant Stones of America, based out of nearby Scottsdale, Az. It appears that they carry a lot of other products, but this is the only one that was available at my local Hi-Health.
A Crystal Clear Solution?
The stone is made of mineral salts- nothing more, nothing less. The theory is that the stone kills or prevents the growth of the bacteria that make your armpits reek like a homeless man’s gym socks. Just like regular deodorant, you’re supposed to rub it on your armpits. Unlike regular deodorant, this thing is about as hard as a rock- just like the name suggests.
I’ve used the thing on a somewhat regular basis for several months, and it shows little signs of wear. If anything, the edges are a bit more rounded than they were when it was new.
That’s right- I just took a stunning photo of a rock that I spent hours rubbing on my armpits. You know what they say about art: it’s %90 perspiration.
Killing Two Birds With One Stone (As Opposed To Killing Them With My Body Odor)
As it turns out, I can’t really say that this product works all that well… or at all. I’m not sure if I’m noticeably less stinky. Maybe it’s all a hippie hoax.
I probably should have done this more scientifically… say, rubbing one armpit with the stone and not rubbing anything in the other… or possibly finding a smooth quartz stone (if there is such a thing) to rub into my other armpit. I’m sure my wife is happy that I chose not to go this route, besides I really hadn’t anticipated myself wanting to write about the experience.
Fortunately this trial size stone was only two bucks. I guess you could say that this thing was dirt cheap. At the very least, I definitely got more than two dollars worth of rubbing-my-armpits-with-a-stone action. I guess I’m going to continue this bizarre ritual, even though the government’s cancer website says that no direct link has been found between deodorant and breast cancer.
You Can’t Get Blood Out Of A Stone ( But I Suppose You Could Rub Yourself With It Until Your Armpits Bled If You Really Wanted To )
So my final analysis is that this thing didn’t do the trick for me. Maybe there are some other deodorant stones that do a better job, and I’d be open to trying out other products from this company, but I would have to say that this particular product was not up to the task of keeping my armpits from getting as funky as a James Brown hoedown in Motown. Maybe I didn’t do it often enough because I don’t leave the house every day, or maybe I have unusually funky pits, or this particular product isn’t a good match for my sporadic deodorant needs. Whatever the case may be, this product was unable to avail me of my armpit odors.
: y del agua huyes.
